


Going Somewhere?

by Panic_At_The_Disney



Series: Solangelo One-Shots [8]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: A bit dialogue-heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Nico di Angelo, M/M, Nico Feels, Pet Names, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23929957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panic_At_The_Disney/pseuds/Panic_At_The_Disney
Summary: Will convinces Nico to help in the infirmary, but Nico can't help it if the patients don't like him.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: Solangelo One-Shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060127
Comments: 16
Kudos: 163





	Going Somewhere?

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Descriptions of panic attacks, self-hate, and suicidal thoughts, stay safe!  
> They're both probably really OOC in this, sorry
> 
> EDIT: Thanks so much for a thousand hits!
> 
> EDITED FOR MISTAKES AS OF 7/7/20

"Please, Nico? The infirmary's really busy today. We could use the help!"

They were standing by the lake. Will was trying to convince Nico to help him in the infirmary, but he was starting to think it was pointless.

"But why? I could kill people without meaning to just by walking in the room! It's like inviting Thanatos to a birthday party."

"I dunno, Neeks. Percy said Thanatos seemed like a party guy."

"Liar."

"Caught me. Maybe you should come to the infirmary to make sure I don't spread anymore lies?"

"Serious, Will?!"

"Please, Nico."

"Fine! Just please stop looking at me like that!" 

Will hadn't even realized he had started pouting. "Yes! You're the best, Neeks!"

"Don't call me Neeks."

"Sorry, Death Boy."

Nico rolled his eyes, turning and storming towards the infirmary. Will ran after him. They walked through the infirmary doors together.

* * *

Will set Nico to work filling out patient reports as Will healed campers. Nico was hesitant, because he was used to organizing files in the back, not interacting with people, but Will was able to convince him. Nico had to admit that he wasn't nearly as bored as he thought he'd be. But of course, the minute Percy walked in, things went wrong.

"Hey, Nico! What are you doing here? I thought you hated human interactions. And humans in general. Look at you, sacrificing yourself for others! When did you get a heart? I thought you lost your moral code?"

"Shut up, Barnacle Boy," Nico grumbled.

Percy just grinned. 

" 'Sup, Percy? Are you actually hurt or...?" Will asked.

"Oh no, I'm injured. I'm... I'm dying, Will. Help, quick."

Will shook his head fondly. "How bad is the papercut this time?"

"Terrible, Will. Terrible."

Will kissed Nico's cheek lightly and said, "Just finish wrapping this bandage, okay? I'll be right back."

Nico nodded, watching his boyfriend walk off to heal Percy's twisted ankle. Will was only gone for about five minutes. How badly things could go wrong in five minutes was surprising.

* * *

It _started_ fine. Nico finished wrapping the bandage around an older camper's arm and glanced over at Will and Percy. They were still talking, so Nico decided to move on to the next patient. That was his first mistake. 

The patient was one of the youngest campers. She was a daughter of Iris, just claimed a few days ago. She had a competitive nature, so she'd decided to attempt the climbing wall without assistance, resulting in several nasty burns and a few broken bones. The girl was just staring at him, expression unreadable.

Nico recalled how Will always talked to his patients.

"Er... hi?"

_Good start._

The girl only stared.

"What's wrong?"

She blinked once and went back to staring.

"I'm just going to find out where you're hurt, okay?"

She didn't react.

Nico reached out to touch her arm, but she screamed, making Nico draw back in surprise.

"Ah! Please don't hurt me!" she sobbed.

Will ran over. "Nico, what happened?!"

"I don't know! She..." Nico turned to the the girl. "Are you... are you scared of me?"

The girl just sobbed. Nico didn't want to, but he needed to know the answer. He grabbed her shoulder, making her scream louder.

"Are you afraid of me?!" It came out more agressive than he meant it to.

"Y-yes!" she sobbed. 

Nico's eyes widened, and he realized where his hand was. He quickly took it off the girl's shoulder.

"Nico, what did you do?" Will yelled.

"Why do you assume I did something wrong?"

"Did you use your underworld powers again? Nico, I've told you before that you can't do that here! It scares the other campers! You can't come in here anymore. I'm sorry, Neeks, but you were right. It's better for death to stay away from where I'm trying to get rid of it, okay? Just because your powers are harmful doesn't mean you have to be!"

Nico's eyes clouded with hurt. But he was used to hiding his emotions, putting his job first. And according to Will, his job was simple-- get lost.

He schooled his expression as neutral as he could get it as he stalked out the doors. Will didn't even bother calling after him.

He entered cabin thirteen, and his demeanor crumbled. This was always was happened. He could play the part when he was with others, but the minute he was alone, he broke.

Nico started pacing the room. Will's words rang in his head.

_"You can't come in here anymore."_

_"It's better for death to stay away from where I'm trying to get rid of it."_

_"Just because your powers are harmful doesn't mean you have to be."_

Nico stopped and locked the door. He didn't want anyone to stop him. He walked to his bed and began packing. It was a mistake to think he could stay at Camp Half-Blood.

He threw the bag over his shoulder and froze, the weight of what he was doing hitting him like a truck.

He was leaving. For good. Without saying goodbye. 

He thought of never seeing Jason again. Or Annabeth. Or Hazel. Or even Percy.

He didn't know if that's what he really wanted. Nico slumped down to the floor, leaning against the bed. He sighed. Every instinct in his body and mind told him things he didn't want to hear. Things that he knew were true. And having his boyfriend voice them... that was low.

Nico started to get up, but fell back down in surprise when someone tried to turn the handle and open his door. Nico walked over to the door and sat against it, listening to Will's voice being muffled by the locked door.

"Nico? Nico, please. Nico, darling, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. Please, talk to me. I'm a jerk, Nico, please. Open the door, just a bit?"

Nico couldn't do it. He couldn't stand to see the look on Will's beautiful face. He didn't want to see his expression crumble as he realised how broken Nico really was. Nico had tried to warn him, when they first got together, but he refused to listen. He would understand now, though. Nico had proved it.

Nico hadn't realized he'd been crying until he reached up to move his bangs out of his eyes and his hand came away wet. He panicked. He wasn't allowed to cry. He was dangerous. And harmful. And he caused death. 

More tears rolled silently down his face.

"Go away, Will," he said softly, choking on his tears.

"Nico! Nico, listen, okay? I'm not leaving. I was a jerk. I'm not going to leave until I try to get you back. I'm not abandoning you."

"That's what you think. But you will. Even right now, I'm just a chore. You don't care about me. No one does. No one could. No one ever has. I can't–," his voice broke, "–I can't do it again."

"Do what again?"

"Lose someone!" It came out louder than he meant it to.

"Nico, please let me in. I just want to see you, Nico, please."

Will wasn't asking anymore. No, Will was positively begging to see Nico. It shocked him enough to shake up his judgement, and before he knew it, he'd reached up and unlocked the door, scooting away so as not be hit when it swung open. Will ran in the room, closing the door behind him.

"Nico!" Will reached down in one fluid motion and picked up Nico bridal style, pulling a watery laugh from him. Will tossed him on the bed and crawled next to him.

"Nico, I love you. You know that, right?"

"You can't really believe that. We both know you're lying. You can't love me. I hate me. Everyone hates me. You were right. I'm creepy, and harmful, and violent, and dangerous, and scary, and I don't deserve you. Please, Will, I'm begging you. Leave. Find someone who can make you happy, because I... I can't."

Nico was having trouble breathing. His breakdown was absolutely silent, but he didn't know how much longer that would last. 

Will stood and walked away.

Nico's heart throbbed.

He buried his face in the pillow, which didn't help his breathing, but he was furious with himself for not being good enough.

His boyfriend left the minute Nico gave him the option. Nico had nothing left to live for.

He longed for death, for the welcoming palace of his father and the certainty of no campers being scared of him. Nico wanted to die, whether by his own hand or another's. 

He barely felt it when a hand was placed on his lower back. But he did feel it, and he knew that touch. 

It was Will. 

Nico didn't dare to hope, but when arms lay down next to him and pulled him closer, Nico knew it was him. He turned and buried his face in Will's neck, seeking comfort in the familiar feel of his boyfriend's arms around him.

"Nico, can you let me help you? Here."

Will handed Nico a tissue. The reason he'd left was as simple as a _tissue_. Nico half-laughed, half-sobbed, and pulled closer.

"I'm sorry, Neeks. I was a fool, thinking you were the problem. I was wrong, so very wrong. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me. I don't know how you could. I said terrible things, and I didn't mean them. I panicked, Nico, and I lashed out at you. I was a fool, a complete fool. I love you."

"I... I don't... But just... don't leave," Nico said softly, resigning himself to the light flush covering his cheeks.

"Of course. Do you want to talk or just sit?"

"Just sit. Um, maybe sleep."

Will chuckled. Nico felt it in the vibrations of his chest.

"Love you, beautiful."

Nico rolled his eyes at the compliment, but snuggled further into Will, sighing contently.

"You're such a sweet and cuddly person! How could anyone ever be afraid of you?"

Nico glared at him sleepily, shoving Will to make him lay down and be a better pillow.

They both slept soundly.

* * *

Nico unpacked his travel bag the next day. He wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave prompts below!


End file.
